Heterosexism

I was at a presentation on GLBT Youth and suicide today and the topic of heterosexism came up.  The presenter asked for someone to define heterosexism.  My definition is that heterosexism is the assumption that everyone in society is heterosexual, but that it has a sexualized component to it to.  Heterosexism embodies a concept of the sexual availability of women.  It’s about more than just whether your gay or straight, it’s about why women make less, why they are marginalized in the workplace.  Why so many job/career books try to find a way to direct women to walk the line between looking good (re: attractive to men) without looking too slutty. 

The panelist wanted to focus on the presumption of heterosexuality.  And yes, this is undeniably a part of the it, but it’s not just the presumption of heterosexuality, it’s the power and privilege maintained by the system.  If there weren’t power and privilege embodied in the system there would be no reason to be invested in the system. 

Where does the power come from?  This gets back to a thought that I have that a huge part of homophobia is about controlling women’s bodies.  It’s about making sure that we continue to be subservient to men.  There’s this incredible investment into this idea that women are desperate for men, that women should settle (there was an Atlantic article about how women should settle).  Women are a commodity. A resource that should not be diminished by allowing control over their bodies or their sexual choices. 

Ensuring male power and privilege is also a reason for beating up on effeminate boys, who are the victims of male homophobia far more than boys/men who fit into more stereotypical male models.