Revisiting Heterosexism

I was thinking about the definition of heterosexism in the context of the State of the Union Address, particularly the policy of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT).  You wouldn’t know it by most of the spokespeople of DADT (i.e., gay soldiers bemoaning how they can’t fight in an unjust war), but women are disproportionately affected by DADT (14% of the Army and 46% of DADT discharges; 20% of the Air Force and 49% of those discharged).  http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/23/washington/23pentagon.html?_r=1

If heterosexism is about keeping women in their place where does the DADT policy fit?  Part of me thinks that women who are in the military are already breaking the rules of their gender by joining, so why should heterosexism a greater role in their harassment?  Then I think of one of my law school classmates who is in the armed services along with her husband, and you wouldn’t know it.  There’s nothing particularly butch about her.  She’s just you’re run of the mill mom with two kids who believes in serving her country by joining the armed services (she’s also a super cool person, proving that while I am insanely anti-military and anti-war, I am not unreasonable, I do understand that good people engage in this behavior).

Obviously there is something anti-woman about the disproportion, which in some respects supports my theory.  It’s the men who get discharged that make me wonder what else is going on. Maybe it’s just me, but I have a hard time imagining a “sissy”/effeminate man wanting to join the armed services.  I admit fully that that could be a total bias.  Just like my law school friend, you could be a stereotypical flaming gay man and have some sort of deep profound belief of the importance of serving in the armed services.  But what about all those guys that are totally gay and butch as hell?

I know that some of the argument is somehow that the existence of out gay men will essentially have some sort of feminizing ripple effect and thus weaken the armed services.  This again falls into my homophobia/heterosexism has its root in sexism (props to people who get the root reference ;) ).

I’m also intrigued by the idea that eliminating DADT will change the culture of the military or even the level of outness (well particularly for men).  Look at professional sports, there have only been one or two out male athletes in professional sports, and I' can’t remember if any of those were out while actively playing sports.  If the pressure to hide in the closet as profound in this arena, I can’t help but imagine that it will be equally intense in the armed forces. 

Always comes back to the hearts and minds.  Until people believe that gay is okay, truly believe, for so many people all the laws in the world will only make minimal (although sometimes quite powerful) differences.